so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
