His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
