i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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