Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
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