The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I can't turn off my feet"
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Randomize
