i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
