I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
