I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
