And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
wanna go halves on a baby?
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I'm like, not good at living.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
