We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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