What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
