you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
