Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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