You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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