Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
