Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
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