I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
