Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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