McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
