We're like a lot better than the average bears
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Randomize
