You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
