Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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