hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
