I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
