I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
