Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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