i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
