People with herpes should wear stickers.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize