I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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