I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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