Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
