it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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