How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
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