It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
