I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Randomize
