5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
