You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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