There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Im part way to drunk.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
