I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
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