And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize