i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
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