i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
