i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
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