that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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