Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
