Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
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