I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
