lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
