Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
