Your dad touched me again.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
