I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
