I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
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