If that was your dad, he is hot
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
