Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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