I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
