dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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