You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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