The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I forgot wine drunk hurts
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Randomize
