ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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